I Dreamed A Dream

Do you believe in alternate realities? The jury is still out for me, but I think of one “alternative” life out there if this theory is true.

At the young age of 25 I was offered a job of a lifetime: to be vice president of many up-and-coming franchises, make more money than I have yet to make, be fit, healthy, and admired. But I didn't take it. I left near fame and fortune (no joke) for poverty, poor health, and the most love I have ever felt or given or could have comprehended.

"Why?!" you may ask. Because of all that I gained. I carefully weighed the pros and cons of that situation during the time. I thought long and hard. I prayed and fasted. It came down to this: I could see myself having the life of my would-be employer, and I did not want that. Plus, my employer would have been my sister and we don't get along now (I haven't seen her in 12 years). I was hoping if we worked together, things would be different, but I knew better.

What I received instead of this life was an incredible alternative filled with the most exquisite joy and pain that I wouldn't change for anything! I honestly believe my life is better where I am than where I could be.

As far as that alternate reality, I think of alternate me and what her life is like right now.

She's probably still single (too busy for a relationship, or too hard to have a relationship with). Maybe she's been engaged but she canceled it. She's fit and healthy (the bane of my real life). She's met celebrities, been on TV, in the newspaper, traveled to exotic locales, and...and is probably one of the saddest people you have ever met. Sad because she probably isn't going to church (one of THE things that brings me joy). She probably isn't very close to her Heavenly Father, at least not as much as she would like to be. She may even have the better relationship with her sister, but it's still not quite the one she was hoping for (due to personal reasons).

Why do I paint such a sad picture? How do I know it would be so bad? I've lived a part of this life in my reality. I sampled this one for a short while and found it extremely difficult to live in the environment I would have been. And most convincing was the personal revelations and affirmations from God that showed me just about everything my life would have been.

When I think about Alternate Me, the song, I Dreamed A Dream from Les Miserables enters my mind.

   I dreamed a dream in time gone by, When hope was high and life worth living

   Then I was young and unafraid, And dreams were made and used and wasted

   There was no ransom to be paid, No song unsung, no wine untasted

 

   I had a dream my life would be, So different from this hell I'm living

   So different now from what it seems, Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

Now, instead of living the Miserable life, I seem to be living something more like the Muppets...kind of crazy, some big turmoil in the middle, then ending happier than ever hoped for.