Tuesday, April 16, 2013

In Case of Emergency

Have you ever been on a flight as they are preparing you for take-off and they inform you on the proper way to (possibly) survive? After they get done showing everyone how to properly fasten a seat belt (does anyone still have a problem with this?!) they look directly in the eyes of all the mothers on the plane and proceed to tell us about the oxygen mask. Rule number one for these masks: PUT IT ON YOURSELF FIRST! Many moms fumble with this idea and decide to space out from this point on because obviously this "Flight Attendant" isn't a mother or at least not a very good one BECAUSE what child-loving mother would put herself first?!

I remember thinking this as we were on our first plane ride with our newborn son on the down to receive cancer treatments for my young husband. Everything about that situation was crazy... I was in complete survival mode at this point which meant everyone around me mattered more than myself. NO WAY was I going to put that mask on myself FIRST!

Hindsight being 20/20 and having the gift of seeing it has helped me understand a few things...

If I don't put that mask on first, nothing gets done and everything is chaos. I'm not saying I am the queen of all things and nothing gets done without me but my family looks to me to be the steady one and when I can't breathe, no one does either.

Everyone is looking to me for their example. I'm mommy and if I'm doing it, it must be the right thing to do.

If I'm going crazy over a crazy situation, EVERYONE goes crazy along with me. BUT if I can breathe and keep my head about me then things can go a lot smoother.

So, now when the Flight Attendant starts her show on how to properly use those wonderful oxygen masks, I pay close attention; because when the plane (of life) is going down I need to know how to breathe.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Bent Not Broken

For a few years I have been hurt and angry at those around me which left me feeling alone and bitter.
I felt let down.
 Let down by people, church,
and God.
I felt cold.
Then about a year ago I started seeing a pinprick of light at the end of my long and dark tunnel.
 Now I look behind me and see a small bit of black, ahead of me –
I heard something recently that broadened my perspective on these years of trials in my life. “We’re not broken, just bent.”
It’s from a song about a dying relationship that still possesses hope.
This got me thinking of others around me who have probably or are currently feeling the same way I did. An image came to mind of reeds blowing in the wind.
 These are beautiful, so beautiful that they are sung about as “amber waves of grain.” Many of us may feel as if they are the lone reed mentioned in poems, left alone to our own devices. I don’t feel this way any longer. I see there are other reeds bending
not broken
standing beside me…and they are made beautiful because of this bending.
Many things are made more beautiful because of bending. Things of nature like the grass,
the waves, 
the reeds. And just like these things
they do not stand alone.
They come together to form one large beautiful scene.
 They cover valleys and mountains,
 rivers and oceans.
We are not alone in our bending process. And those of us that see that MUST help those that don’t.
I see those around me now suffering and all I can think is, “how can I help?” I realize this is probably how others thought when I needed help. I don’t know how to help. I don’t know what to give.
I pray.
I think.
I wait to hear how Heavenly Father wants to bend me.