I went into pre-op on Tuesday this week for a couple of "emergency" surgeries (meaning I've been waiting a month to get these authorized), and it just made the whole thing more REAL.
I have had such bad lady problems, I would have done ANYTHING to make it all stop right then and there. But I've had things under control for about a month now, and except for the pills that make me aBSoLuTeLy BoNKeRS, I'm fine. :)
Same thing with my gut. Some days I feel I am in so much Pain, I can do the surgery right there on my own, by myself, and still be in less Pain. And then there's right now. I hurt but it's just uncomfortable if anything. Except for the impending Pain and the complete exhaustion I have fighting it, I'm fine. :)
Truth is, I am TOTALLY FREAKED OUT!
I don't take a lot (if any) medications because 1. I don't really need any and, 2. I can't stand the side effects. Sure, Tylenol and Ibuprofen help with Pain and inflammation, but they kill my liver, kidneys, and stomach (I'm very sensitive).
So, when it comes to surgeries where they use Needles to pump drugs and fluids into me, let's just say I don't get all giddy about it.
Needles are on my Enemy list. When I was a child, I had several doctor visits matched with much blood work. I had nurses, doctors, phlebotomists, and my mother yelling at me to NOT MOVE or the Needle would break in my arm and I would DIE.
I was not a Screamer or an extreme Wiggler, so I suppose they were trying to scare me just in case. Well, it worked!
I am also not a big fan of burning body parts or removing them (both of which I am scheduled to do). I definitely like the benefits of having all my body parts in tact, but I guess mine are faulty and something must be done. Barring a touch-of-Christ's-robe kind of miracle, I suppose surgery is the only real option for me.
But I am looking for the Silver Lining among the clouds...
I have spent decades struggling with my weight and I see the gallbladder removal surgery as an opportunity to help with that. For just a few days (or more) I will be on a limited diet to help clear out any residual operating medications and not be sick. After that, I will slowly adjusting my body to food that is easy to digest. I have had several friends and colleagues suggest I can go back to eating whatever I want, I just have to be near a bathroom within about 30 minutes. But if I am to use this surgery, and its subsequent side effects, to my advantage, I better make a true Lifestyle Change.
I will be eating Clean but on my own terms. Part of my issue was trying to eat better while watching others around me not sharing my eating options. My dear husband has offered to eat with me and help me find a way to eat Clean that is more Me and not what others say I should be. I love that I have been so blessed.
Unfortunately, these procedures cost money, despite my low-cost Obamacare. So, I have set up a GoFundMe Account to help offset charges. Through the help of my amazing friends, I believe I will reach my goal and not have to worry about money along with everything else weighing on my mind.
Despite my hardships (and I know everyone has their story, but this is mine), I truly feel God's love for me. I feel watched over and care for, and I am grateful. My cup runneth over!