Thursday, May 29, 2014

No Pictures, No Frills, Just Struggles and a Cry for Help

Don't ya just HATE it when you're trying to lose weight and get healthy, so you look up online on ways how to do just that; and people are complaining and saying the EXACT same stuff you do, then you click on the link only to read how upset people are at being SO overweight when their version of "overweight" is somewhere around 35 pounds?!?!

Don't get me wrong; I am totally with ya on the weight loss bandwagon and I completely understand the frustration you have when trying to lose ANY weight no matter what your size. BUT when I'm looking for similar gripe stories/solutions to MY weight-loss problem, it all pales in comparison...especially when you need to lose about 100 to 110 pounds to be on the level.

 Thankfully I have several kind and caring friends who are involved in various health programs. The problem lies in the monetary aspect and long-term effects for me. The money is the first STOP sign I get when searching what is right for me on my personal weight-loss journey but the real clincher are the long-term effects. Problem here is that my body is so completely different than anybody elses (truly, I have been told this time and time again by SEVERAL health professionals, trainers, consultants, you name it) that "long-term" just doesn't apply.

What I'm looking for is something that isn't going to make me buy in before I try the theory. I am literally tapped out from trying everything from group therapies (i.e. Weight Watchers) to one-on-one (i.e personal trainers), to meal replacements (ah, just insert any and nearly all of the ones you have ever heard of and a sprinkle of the ones you haven't).

The other, and really the MAIN issue is, I need something that WORKS for someone so utterly messed up hormonally, physically, and mentally as I am! Seriously folks! I have been actually tested by real Doctors that say I have SO MUCH cortisol (the "stress" hormone) in my body that they believe there is NO WAY I will ever successfully lose weight!


And yet, I still try! How can I not?! Especially when my body hurts, oh HECK my soul hurts from carrying all this weight?!

It has been suggested that I find a motivator that will jump-start my desire. I HAVE desire but I have NO motivator! And believe me I have heard it all. From death to life in agony, from exceeding joy to eternal happiness, yet nothing works in my messed up little head.

Now, I am just tired. Tired of all the work, pain, suffering, ups and downs. I'm tired of trying and failing...every...single...time. ALL of me is tired.

But I still try. Why? Because I'm hoping I will find the answer, the thing that clicks for me and my weird round body. But I'm losing motivation much quicker this time...and I guess...I need help. But I don't know where to get it.

If you offer assistance, please don't be offended if I tell you that yes, indeed I have tried your absolutely-will-not-fail-method-that-works-for-every-body-especially-mine. And in turn I will do my best to simply accept with a genuine heart.


  1. So I am in the same boat at least amount to lose-wise. I'm going to try the biggest loser diet from Bob harper...a little strict at first but he's trying to retrain your mind and palette. I can send you some of the info. I bought his book. He has a 30 day menu. Which has options for every meal and snack and it doesn't require you buy anything but food. I'm going to try it maybe we can try together! Plus moving a little more everyday is on my to do list.

  2. okay so i'm totally going to look into that! but you have always been good at starting the diet thing even if it were harsh...remember all those meals of the same thing you made that had like no salt and a bunch of asparagus? :) i have ALWAYS admired your go-to attitude about everything you try! i'm really going to look at this guy's ideas and see if it's something i can live with.

  3. If you want to talk about how I lost what I did I would be more than willing to tell you what I did, don't know as it would help but anything is worth a shot I guess. I would recommend finding a way to help you to reduce your stress, I know not as easy as is sounds but you have to find the "thing" that just helps you let go! Weight loss is hard and no matter what you have friends! I'm here for you and I'm willing to do what I can to help you in any way possible!!!!

  4. Since only God knows what's going on in your body, pray for direction. Also, pray for peace from the stress and healing. He can heal miraculously. It sounds like, while you shouldn't give up on eating good foods and regular exercise, you should also not expect it to make you drop pounds. You're a special case. Your mind and hormones and body chemistry seem to be your undoing. Focus on being at peace and being one with God. This may take a lifetime, but I don't think so. He loves you and wants to give you the things you need. He wants you to be well. Go to him daily. He'll help you to change what needs changing, or accept what you cannot. I understand about money. I've gone to special doctors with supplements and oils and interesting methods for healing the body, but I can never afford to follow their plans. I don't think God would make it so only those with an extra $200+ to spend each month on special foods, gym memberships, pills and programs could get healthy. He will teach you what is worthwhile. For example, most days I give my family a healthy green smoothie sweetened only by fruit though it's mainly spinach or others greens and looks bright green. Everyone says you have to have one of those fancy $300 blenders, but we have our regular $40 one and yes it's not completely smooth but it's fine. Over extending your budget will only cause more stress as you well know :)

  5. I don't really have any suggestions. I just want to let you know I understand your frustration. I have begun to wonder if there is something wrong with my body that is making losing weight almost impossible.