My grandpa used to say that church was for guilty people...and he wasn't guilty, so he didn't have to go! I'm not quite sure I agree with that philosophy, but I do choose not to attend church at this time.I don't have any problems with principles or views, no, rather, at this time I am still too angry at God to praise His name. Which also makes me too angry to have people approach me at church and ask about my prolonged absence or inquiring about what's going on in my at this moment. Normally I would welcome such questioning, but right now I am too angry and I think I would snap at people, not meaning to.
I also don't want people to try and convince me that things aren't that bad and that I should just get over it. Or tell me that I'm not the only one that has problems, but that others don't let it get to them. Please let me be upset for a while. I'm trying to sort through myriad feelings and deal with them accordingly. If you wanted to come over and give me a hug, tell me things are going to be alright and don't mind me making a scoffing sound, that would be nice.
Hey Blythe I'm not sure if you remember me I was in singles ward with you for a while and I actually grew up with Ben. I was sad to hear about this terrible situation that your family has been placed in. I know it doesn't seem like it now but things will work out in the end. I've been a little depressed with some stressful things in my life, not at all what you're going through but we had a lesson a couple Sundays ago about the big picture and how we're not supposed to be able to see what's planned otherwise we may not learn the things we're supposed to. But that there is always a bigger better picture that comes from the little things we go through. It was a lesson about Joseph and the coat of many colors and his many trials. I have a friend who went through a similar situation to yours and now she is able to help others with the same problem. Try not to lose hope there is a happy ending to everything and a plan to why things happen to us happy or not. You have to try to keep your spirits up and find happiness in your sweet beautiful son who seems like a great kid and in the health that Ben does still have. I hope you don't think that I'm telling you to get over it, trust me I'm not and I don't think you should. I would probably react the same way if my husband or any family member were suffering. I think that in this time your family will grow so close together and appreciate eachother even more than before. But a place to help you find peace could be the temple where no one can ask you those annoying questions that you aren't ready to hear. Just a suggestion of something I do when I need to ask my own questions, be at peace, or want to be closer to heaven. Please let me know if there's anything that I can do for you. I'm praying for your family.
ReplyDeletethank you, amber...i hope you are right...
ReplyDeleteBlythe,
ReplyDeleteWe are thinking of you often. You have every right to your feelings. I know our Savior Jesus Christ will understand when no one else does, because he has helped me when I didn't feel like I had anyone. Hang in there.
thank you rochelle...it is nice to know i'm not the only one that has felt like this..
ReplyDeleteBlythe something you may want to think about- while you may not be up to handling comments and questions at church, by not going you are losong a very real way to feel the Spirit and recieve strength. you could try going to another ward where no one knows you or your situation, then you don't cut yourself off, but you don't have to share. Just tell anyone that asks that you are "just visiting" and leave it at that. -Hannah L.
ReplyDeletethat's a GREAT idea Hannah! i wish i would have thought of that a while ago! i just might do that still...
ReplyDelete