Tuesday, November 8, 2011

All you need is...

I guess you could say I am having one of those days except it's been lingering for a little over a week. My evening was capped off by having to make a VERY difficult decision that I am not in the least bit happy about, in fact it makes me very sad so much so that I think I'm going to cry right now...

I'm not better but I am more composed, now, thank you.

I feel very left out and alienated, and granted, I did a lot of that to myself but when it is circumstantial reasons for being left out it makes me quite upset. I feel there is no other option but to be left out but I don't want to be. I want to be able to have the freedom to say "yes" to every request. I want to feel the peace family usually brings. But I feel alone and isolated and I don't know how to not be that way. I think of the funny SNL skit with Bob Newhart as a therapist where a woman comes in and tells him her problems and his answer to everything is "STOP IT!!" I want more than anything to stop it but there are things holding me back that I can't seem to break free from. I'm stuck. I'm sinking.

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