Thursday, January 26, 2012

I Know Why the Caged Monkey Screams

I used to think that people who put their loved ones in care homes and never or rarely visited were jerks!

I used to volunteer at one and did so for many years. I started many programs including an Adopt-A-Grandparent Program especially for those poor souls who were dumped there and seemingly never thought of again.

Well, now I know why some were there with little to no family to visit them. At least now I can understand some of the reasoning behind it.

It's difficult if you've had a rough upbringing yet still tried to make a go of it, finally getting to a point you can possibly live with only to find out you were wrong.

There happens to be a legitimate reason why things could not, would not, and should not work out between you and your aging loved one. So, you distance yourself for safety and sanity's sake at nearly the same time this particular loved one's health is starting to deteriorate. You're torn, filled with mixed emotions on what to do and how to act. You're scorned by family members (and some friends) that both don't understand and don't know the whole story. Worst of all, they never will and you end up looking like the biggest jerk of all time! Even letting others know you have made your peace and you feel this best for you and your little family, the rest of the big family considers you a heel and continues to swear you off as the overly-emotional-while-simultaneously-being-devoid-of-feelings individual they have come to know and label you as.

While in the background, your aforementioned ailing loved one is moaning for attention which no one gives heed to (and no one openly admits to it but you) hasn't for a long time, if ever.

Being stuck between a rock and the family makes me scream more often then I'd like to admit. But for my part, I'd rather choose the rock.   

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