Thursday, February 18, 2016

February: My Miracle Month

February is filled with so many things to do and be for me. My sister's birthday starts off the month. My husband and I usually try and throw an elaborate Valentine's Day dinner and dance. My husband's birthday is next, then Valentine's Day proper. We switch the Day around so that Ben is the recipient of the Day and he does stuff for me a month later. This way there's no pressure to give and be for him.

(I hate the commercials and ads stating that if you didn't get this expensive jewelry/flowers/chocolates/gift/etcetera for your wife/girlfriend/significant other, then you are LAME! You have failed! You are not a man and should be shamed! At least that's how we've perceived it anyway.)

Then there's my kid's birthday. It's the DOG'S birthday, too, if you can believe that!

There are parties that are added onto those special days (except the dog) because often the birthday itself doesn't land on a convenient day for a party but you can't just ignore the actual DAY. So there are about three to four parties to plan, and that's just the first half of the month! I also have college to freak out about on top of that. Days off from my kid's school that don't correlate with my school. Not to mention all the other weekly tasks and being-a-good-friend moments sprinkled here and there.

But those are just icing. Yes, all the craziness is like a gift because it reminds me of the miracles I have in my life.

I have had seven pregnancies. I only have one child. After miscarriage number five, we spent a year figuring out the issue and finding ways to solve it so I could have a successful birth. By baby number six we figure it out, just a little too late. We wait for my body and mind to heal and then gave our everything, time, money, medication, to squeak out one last opportunity. (My soul could only afford one more time.)

We prayed. We fasted. We hoped, and when those two little blue lines showed up (five tests later) I punch-fisted the air KNOWING this was it! I KNEW our prayers had been answered.

It wasn't easy. Lots of shots. Lots of throwing up. Lots of freak-outs, but in the end we received a squished-headed, scrawny and screaming baby boy. He was smaller than everybody but me expected. I couldn't even look at him when my husband showed him to me because I didn't want it to be just a dream. But he was real!

He was my miracle.

During the last few months of my pregnancy, my husband's health was showing signs of something serious. We weren't sure how serious until just two weeks after our son was born. Cancer. Colo-rectal. Stage 3. How could that be?! He was only 26 years old! But it was. So off to Arizona we went. We spent our first Mother's and Father's day there. We met amazing people and had some very difficult times, but then it was over...

Not really...

But we made it...sort of... We still suffered hardship after hardship, but we did it together! Through it all we received SO MANY blessings! One of which was that we have had the opportunity to be together all time. We both have been around to raise our son together! We have been a 24-hour/365 days family. The first one to really start to break off and go on their own was our son when he went to school for the first time last year. It truly has been a blessing!

So, My Miracle Month. I have the responsibility to care for not one but TWO miracles: my husband and my son. It truly is a miracle that they are both still around and continue to grow and learn and that I'm here to see it all happen.

 If I include all the Specials in this month, there is still my dog, Lucie. You may not think that's very special and that I'm some dog nut, you'd only be half right! Lucie, is herself a miracle! She was an abused dog and was left out on her own when she was found and taken to the SPCA. She's a black lab which means she should be this crazy and goofy dog, but she isn't. She is this totally sweet and calm and loving dog. She's intuitive and won't leave my side when I'm not well. I was training her to be a therapy dog, but due to her abuse and abusers she is unable. BUT she's plenty of therapy to me and those she comes in contact with.

There's also my sister. We haven't been as close as may have wanted over the years, but I think she's amazing! She has been through SO much and she has become so much more than I think even SHE thought she could be. She is an inspiration to many around her. If you knew her story you would agree that she is a Miracle as well.

Despite all the crazy that is February, I am GLAD I have it! I feel blessed to be a part of so many Miracles! I'm happy that I get reminded every year of these blessings. You may think that sounds petty, that I should know that and celebrate it all year round. And I do, but February gives me a month to renew and remember more thoroughly. I get to evaluate how I show my appreciation to all involved and try to perfect my ways.

My Miracle Month, I love you!


  1. I loved reading this this morning and I love you and your family😍 You are such a blessing.

    1. I have never thought of myself as a blessing but I definitely see the many blessings around me. Thank you for saying that. You made my day <3