Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Give a Blythe a cookie...

This is me. I have wants and needs and desires just like any other normal human being out there, but I just can't seem to break one teensie weensie, very BAD habit. I want MORE and I can never be satisfied with what I already have! I can list off all the very nice aspects of my life but I always have to end with the caveat "but". I have a husband and son who love me and I love them...but...I don't have the family connections I desperately want outside my "own little world". I don't have all the children I would want and time is running out for me. I can go on and on but I shouldn't.

And speaking of that wonderful husband of mine...if you read further back in my blog you will learn that he had a minor battle with cancer nearly three years ago and a major battle with necrotizing fasciitis...BUT even after "winning" said battles (as much as one can win after being chewed up by bacteria and fried from chemo and radiation) I want more! Not more out of my husband, he already does more than his fair share, but more for him. He has lost so much of himself in many ways and his health has been in a limbo state since his job loss and subsequent health care loss almost two years ago. So, he is alive and at home and close to fully functioning...BUT...I want him back to the way he was. I want his health to be better. I want an end, a close to this chapter in our lives so I can try an move on to the next life trial set in our path.

One more and then I swear I'm done...

We have this small but amazing in a hundred different ways house that I'm telling ya we wouldn't be able to keep if it weren't for the miracle and blessing of tithing....BUT...with all those amazing hundred different things comes a hundred or so more things that need to be changed or fixed. I have so many projects in the making (please tell me I'm not the only one). I have three bedrooms but one is dedicated to all the projects we started but haven't quite finished yet. I'm trying not to be ungrateful because there have been some huge projects started and nearly finished by the helping hands of friends that would have been beyond our means if they had not come to our aid.

This past couple of months I have been bombarded with great advice on how to be more grateful for what I have and not to take for granted for all that I have been given. I am trying to live in the present and experience the "now"...BUT...it hasn't been easy. I still feel like I'm going at this alone. BUT I am listening and putting to practice the counsel I have been given and maybe someday I won't ask for a glass of milk after I've been given a cookie, I will just simply say "thank you" and be satisfied. One can hope. :)

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