Despite (or maybe because) I was considered Golden by the Missionaries, I wasn't one thought to have staying power. I had friends from my past and people in the Church that gave me three months and then I'd be out of there!
...it took me four...
Having very little support from anywhere in my early beginnings of the Church made it more than difficult at times to stay Strong. It wasn't until I was at a wild and crazy (a la Hollywood style) New Year's Eve party that I felt the Strength and power to boldly stand firm in the Gospel. (This is one of the few things I don't publicly speak on BUT if you ask in person I will tell you. It's not secret, it's sacred.)
|think ^this but bigger, louder, and INSANE|
My life in or out of the Gospel did not become easier from that point on, it got harder. In fact, it took me four more years for me to have the Strength to stand upright, Tall and Strong having finally fought personal Demons and a very large monkey (dare I say Gorilla) off my back.
Only five years young in the Church and I still used others testimonies as a crutch for my own. It would be so for nearly another year until one Magical summer changed it all. (*cue flashback music*)
The Summer of Christine. No, my name is not Christine but a good friend of mine--Christine--was learning how to stand on her own two feet and by example, so was I. I think only those closely involved during that summer's events can properly convey and understand the feelings, thoughts, EVERYTHING...or maybe it was just me. Either way, it was another one of those Sacred not Secret events for me that shaped me for the better.
I had finally learned to love myself.