The Search
I have been asked the who, what, how, and why with regards to my joining the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Now I will tell you in written form...
As I look back now, it seems strange to realize that I had been searching for a place that felt right, a place where I belonged since I was about 9 years old. I came to the conclusion that the only place I would belong would be in a church or specific faith or religion. My family never made it a priority to truly attend or subscribe to a specific faith, just to have any place to go when we felt the need was all that was required. As a family we visited and attended Church of Christ, Presbyterian, Pentecostal, Lutheran, Baptist, Catholic... Each time, we stayed for a while until we moved or my mother wasn't interested any longer for whatever reason. My father seemed content wherever he went or even if he went at all. He wasn't against church or religion, he was a hard working man that wanted his days off to be void of any hassle (and if you attend ANY church, it's a hassle -- kids, spouse, car, time....)
When I was a teenager my mother was ready for a philosophy change and we went in search of new church. We landed in a local church for a while until she had conflicts within and I attended on my own. I made friends, I had good times, good memories with the people of this church. But like any family there were disagreements and harsh words. I started to come less and less frequently until the last time I came, the pastor took me aside and suggested that this particular church wasn't for me and asked me to leave.
I was hurt but it wasn't the first time this had happened to me. As a kid, I was asked not to come back to a church-run school. I asked too many questions... In the another church I was told I was "Satan's temptress" and told to leave... I was also told that if holy water ever touched me it would burn me.
I will freely admit I was not a good person. Maybe I was on the inside, maybe my spirit was good, but my actions were not. When I was 18 years old I went wild like a Disney child star. I did things I am not proud of and regret. But after a while the yearning to belong in a spiritual way pulled at my soul. Only, I didn't know how to begin. I searched with my mother in the past, but I had been away from home some time now and my mother stopped searching long ago. So I looked to the only people I knew that could help me with such a huge life-changing decision: celebrities!
I thought that Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and Kirstie Alley were smart and spiritual people that looked to have their lives in order, so why not try out their faith. I went to a local library and met with some very nice people who wanted to tell me more. I listened and was intrigued. I had only been by there a couple of times when I started to feel this might not be for me. Not anything remotely wrong with anything it just didn't feel right. This feeling is difficult to explain unless you have had first-hand experience but it's like trying to explain Love. It just is, you just are...I don't know...
A couple of weeks later I sat in my car going over my life choices with a good friend and well... this happened. But there were a few weeks of self-discovery and spiritual awakening. Maybe another post...
As I look back now, it seems strange to realize that I had been searching for a place that felt right, a place where I belonged since I was about 9 years old. I came to the conclusion that the only place I would belong would be in a church or specific faith or religion. My family never made it a priority to truly attend or subscribe to a specific faith, just to have any place to go when we felt the need was all that was required. As a family we visited and attended Church of Christ, Presbyterian, Pentecostal, Lutheran, Baptist, Catholic... Each time, we stayed for a while until we moved or my mother wasn't interested any longer for whatever reason. My father seemed content wherever he went or even if he went at all. He wasn't against church or religion, he was a hard working man that wanted his days off to be void of any hassle (and if you attend ANY church, it's a hassle -- kids, spouse, car, time....)
When I was a teenager my mother was ready for a philosophy change and we went in search of new church. We landed in a local church for a while until she had conflicts within and I attended on my own. I made friends, I had good times, good memories with the people of this church. But like any family there were disagreements and harsh words. I started to come less and less frequently until the last time I came, the pastor took me aside and suggested that this particular church wasn't for me and asked me to leave.
I was hurt but it wasn't the first time this had happened to me. As a kid, I was asked not to come back to a church-run school. I asked too many questions... In the another church I was told I was "Satan's temptress" and told to leave... I was also told that if holy water ever touched me it would burn me.
I will freely admit I was not a good person. Maybe I was on the inside, maybe my spirit was good, but my actions were not. When I was 18 years old I went wild like a Disney child star. I did things I am not proud of and regret. But after a while the yearning to belong in a spiritual way pulled at my soul. Only, I didn't know how to begin. I searched with my mother in the past, but I had been away from home some time now and my mother stopped searching long ago. So I looked to the only people I knew that could help me with such a huge life-changing decision: celebrities!
I thought that Tom Cruise, John Travolta, and Kirstie Alley were smart and spiritual people that looked to have their lives in order, so why not try out their faith. I went to a local library and met with some very nice people who wanted to tell me more. I listened and was intrigued. I had only been by there a couple of times when I started to feel this might not be for me. Not anything remotely wrong with anything it just didn't feel right. This feeling is difficult to explain unless you have had first-hand experience but it's like trying to explain Love. It just is, you just are...I don't know...
A couple of weeks later I sat in my car going over my life choices with a good friend and well... this happened. But there were a few weeks of self-discovery and spiritual awakening. Maybe another post...
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