My issue with food has always been that I hated it. I didn't like to eat and I never found any pleasure in eating. But now I have found that I have gained about 15 pounds or more because I made food my drug of choice. I think it's more like my excuse. There's an Indian tribe or maybe just an Indian tradition where, if someone dies, you can't cry for them or you will ruin their chances for happiness in the afterlife. So, what the mourners do is break their little pinky finger so they have something to cry about. I'm the same way. I don't want to complain about what's going on here and I don't want to cry about it, but if I'm fatter or even just sore from over-eating I have a reason to be upset. Of course it's a double-edged sword because I do it to myself so there's no one else to be mad at but myself. Is that screwed up or what?!
The problem..okay ONE of the problems I have run into is that when things are going okay like right now I still can't stop eating. My only saving grace is that what I want to eat, of course, is sweet stuff and since this isn't home the place here isn't stacked with free goodies to eat. I have to make an effort to go out and buy it with the money we don't have. So, if we don't have it in the hotel room I go out to the lobby and get some cocoa which makes me wired. Dummy me! Now I've just learned that the sister hotel across the parking lot has free cookies all the time and supposedly they are really good. UH OH!
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